So we had a stressful weekend due to a family members need for attention. Whilst I can see what she is trying to do, I totally do not agree.

Manipulation and mind games are not on. Especially if you claim to have love for the people you do it to. Can you imagine loving someone, wanting the best for them and having sleepless nights over the fear of their wellbeing- you can? Well that would mean you love them, right? Wrong- apparently you don't love them and you don't care about them.

Suppose you didn't care about them? Would that ruin your weekend? No- you wouldn't give a hoot about what they think.

But you know, my weekend was ruined by hurtful words and actions. So much so that I can see this person in a different light....a person who's need for attention has out weighed logic.

I am disgusted and hurt.

I discovered a stinky flower that I really like- it's an onion flower...it kind of looks like the clover in Horton hears a Who except it is a white, green and yellow ball on a long stem. Although it stinks like onions (well, it is an onion flower) i think they look beautiful. I may even start growing onions just to get the flower- I may even plant it in our front garden amongst the impending roses and azaleas.

I took the kids to Emerald Lake Park today- I even bought some bread to feed the ducks. I went to the local bakery and asked for old bread and they gave me a 10kg bag of bread for $2- some of that bread was fresher then what i have in the cupboard.

So we fed the ducks and i had so much bread, they must of filled themselves up so they started swimming away from us! We also went to look at puffing billy who was parked at the station- J actually started climbing through the barriers- and he got to the tracks before i realised (i had my back to him). When I got to him, he threw a huge tanty (a tourist was actually filming him because he looked so funny). We then took a walk along the bridge, but J was tired and being difficult so we went to the pet shop. I wasn't interested in buying anything- just letting the kids look at all the animals. After that I went home.

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you had taken a different path in your life? All those times you were faced with a decision to make, and made, based on emotion or knowledge- imagine if you chose a different path? All I can say now is that although I have made a few ilogical decisions- I think my life has turned out the best it would have been. I say this because decisions we make are like a ripple effect..eg If I had decided not to move from Preston, I may not have any children at this point in my life....or If i had decided to travel with my husband, in some way, could it have lead to divorce? With the decisions i have made in my life, I have ended up with a great husband, beautiful children and a fairly stable, safe and loving environment- what more could i ask for?

Resigning!

So I have a sent an email to one of my bosses today outlining in a nice way that I am sick and tired of working with no support. I want to resign but I don't know if he is going to let me. I have had no response and don't know if he has read it but I think he has because he called me today and asked if we could have lunch this week. Although he has been very good to me, I've made a conscious decision that in 2009 I'm going to set things right- and working for his company is not one of those right things!

Let's see what happens!

I have been avidly searching the website for details on lomography camera's- something that's not very popular but I think I'll have a lot of fun with. Lomography camera's are pretty much old school technology but with a different lense, making photos appear imperfect or give crazy effects...my father in law thinks that I should just keep taking digital pictures and get photoshop- but where's the fun in that? Maybe I'll get photoshop just for playing- we'll see.

I really want to take a photography class, or at least learn how to use my camera's to their full potential. Seeing a beautiful photo I've taken gives me a lot of satisfaction like that of above.

I am feeling very down today- going back to work brought on some issues that i have been dealing with for a while. That is one of the reasons I put in my letter today however I still feel guilty for taking away from our money situation. There never seems to be a clear answer but we have to find our way through the fog somehow!

I have some beautiful dahlia's sitting in a vase today- they make me feel better every time i look at them!

I couldn't sleep last night due to a horrible movie I watched that left me with a bad feeling. I don't know whether is was the fact that it was based on a true story that made it worse or was it because I hadn't seen a movie like that in a while, therefore making me more sensitised to the emotions of fear. Anyway, it was a really bad movie and that coupled with having a discussion previously in the night, with somebody who seems to make a lot of bad decisions in their life despite people trying to give sound advise, made me not sleep.

Why do people ask your opinions, and then do what they want to do anyway? I'm sure I've done it before but it is not really fair to the person listening as they become emotionally involved. And if the listener genuinely cares about the other person, it makes it 10 times worse.

It's ok if it's just about a silly thing, but when it is a major life changing decision, I think other people's opinions matter- especially if they have been in that particular circumstance or they know something that the person involved doesn't know.

To keep myself from getting hurt or upset, I am trying to make a conscious decision not to get emotionally involved and to just accept what the other person decides to do.

Here's hoping!

So I was on Etsy just before and it got me thinking...well a little inspired to tell you the truth! Having 3 weeks off work has just confirmed how much I hate doing what I do and I would love to do something that I love doing...everybodies ultimate dream, I guess.

So what can I do- I can do a little bit of everything but not really great at something in particular..ie felting, making jewellery, drawing, sewing.....

I am now going to attempt to play around with paint and paper just to get the creative juices flowing however the constant interruptions may dispell my focus. Lets see how we go......

Just sayin'!

Okay, so I'm new to this whole blogging thing!

My hope is that nobody reads this and I might get away with airing my dirty laundry....but the chances are that at least one person will read this- that being me- and I really don't want to offend myself in case I never talk to myself again.

Now that's said, I can get on with discussing subjects that don't really mean anything.

TO DO LIST 2009

Take care of my body, ie eating healthy, trying to excercise and general maintenance.

To plant a vegie garden

Not to get involved in anybodies business regardless of my personal opinions

To toilet train Joel

To teach Joel to control his temper

To study with Amber every night

To help Ray finish our extension

To not work so much

To invite more people for dinner

and to take more beautiful pictures